private message to Ernie

[alt_megan]

Are you around? Can you

I just had a very very bad dream. It was awful. I can't stop shaking.

Comments

[alt_megan]

I cannot sleep because every time I try it is the dream again. The same dream. And Madam Umbr

I do not know why I am dreaming about her. I must be very stupid, because she is not here, and everything will be fine. (Everything will be fine, won't it?) Only I can't stop dreaming about it and now I am afraid to go back to sleep at all.

[alt_megan]

Ernie?

Please answer, Ernie. Please be there.

Because in the dream she

You are all right, aren't you?

[alt_megan]

All right I am going to write it down. Because my guardian told me when I came to her that if I told my nightmares out loud then I would see how stupid they were and they would not trouble me any more. So she had me do so, and it is not pleasant to admit to someone the foolish fancies of one's overwrought imagination but she was right and they did eventually go away. Only I don't want to say it out loud here so I will write it down and hope it works the same way.

In the dream Madam Umbridge was back. And she was helping Professor Dolohov with the Headmaster's duties because he was busy teaching us the Killing Curse. And they

he had us doing it on firsties.

And the Professors Carrow were back only they were those Inferi things like we saw in the parade and in the duels. Only Umbridge told us they were Professors again. And Hannah was there

And then Umbridge told Professor Dolohov I had not been being a good citizen of the Protectorate and he smiled and said she knew what to do about that and then she

made me cast the killing curse on you

Please be OK. It was just a dream, right?

i am afraid to get out from under the bedcovers, i have lumos going in here and fang is here with me and i am not coming out until you answer me or maybe never.

[alt_ernie]

Cor, Megs. I was revising.

Didn't hear the notification. Must've been because of Summers snoring or something.

I'm here.

And she isn't. Neither are the other two, either.

Want to meet in the common room for some cocoa or something?

[alt_megan]

All right but it will be a few minutes because I have to cast a charm because my eyes are all red and I don't want anybody looking at me and knowing I was crying. Because it was really awful. And so real.

Cocoa will help. Seeing you are OK will help.

Try not to mind awfully if I cry again. I mean I will try not to. But I am a watering-pot just now (like they say in the books my guardian has me read to her). I am sorry.

[alt_ernie]

Hey. You can water me, alright? I won't spoil, and I won't mind. Promise.

[alt_ernie]

And you're so good, Megs.

Always have been.

It's just like you to be worried about something you haven't even done.

[alt_megan]

But there is so much that I did do. Things Umbridge told me to.

I didn't ever tell you but I told on F-F for sneaking out and got him in trouble. (Did I tell you that? I can't remember. My head is still full of those awful dead things walking around.)

[alt_ernie]

You were just

You were doing what you were told. By the Headmistress.

That's not your fault. It wasn't wrong. He was sneaking.

Morag and me

we told her a bunch of them were meeting once. When Cedric got hurt, that one time. He was in the bunch, I guess, and she stuck him and Harry in her office and

She told us to keep an eye.

It wasn't

It was what we were supposed to do.

[alt_megan]

But different people say we are supposed to do things and they do not always agree and it is very hard to know.

I talked with Marvolo about it some. And even he thinks it is complicated. He said

He said sometimes people get angry no matter what you do. Even if you are trying to do everything perfectly.

I was the person who got Sarah in trouble. And it was what I was supposed to do. According to Umbridge. Only it can't have been right for such terrible things to happen to her when she was only trying to help me because I was cursed.

It was Umbridge who cursed me in the first place.

And I am so sorry about

At least Sarah was not one of the dead things in the dream because I don't think I could

I think Umbridge was evil. OK there I said it.

[alt_ernie]

Bloody Mar

Well. He would know, wouldn't he.

...yeah.

She was.

I've got that cocoa ready, if you're up for getting out from under those covers.

[alt_megan]

For you and cocoa, I will get out from under these covers right now.

You are the best boyfriend ever.